Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
Staple pages in the middle of the page.
Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
type only in lowercase.
dont use any punctuation either
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
Ask people what gender they are.
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

 

1. If your throat tickles, scratch your ear.

When you were 9, playing your armpit was a cool trick. Now, as an adult, you can still appreciate a good body-based
feat, but you're more discriminating. Take that tickle in your throat; it's not worth gagging over. Here's a better way to
scratch your itch: "When the nerves in the ear are stimulated, it creates a reflex in the throat that can cause a muscle
spasm," says Scott Schaffer, M.D., president of an ear, nose and throat specialty center in Gibbsboro, New Jersey. "This
spasm relieves the tickle."

2. Experience supersonic hearing!

If you're stuck chatting up a mumbler at a cocktail party, lean in with your right ear. It's better than your left at following
the rapid rhythms of speech, according to researchers at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine. If, on the other
hand, you're trying to identify that song playing softly in the elevator, turn your left ear toward the sound. The left ear is
better at picking up music tones.

3. Overcome your most primal urge!

Need to pee? No bathroom nearby? Fantasize about Jessica Simpson. Thinking about sex preoccupies your brain, so
you won't feel as much discomfort, says Larry Lipshultz, M.D., chief of male reproductive medicine at the Baylor College
of Medicine. For best results, try Simpson's "These Boots Are Made for Walking" video.

4. Feel no pain!

German researchers have discovered that coughing during an injection can lessen the pain of the needle stick.
According to Taras Usichenko, author of a study on the phenomenon, the trick causes a sudden, temporary rise in
pressure in the chest and spinal canal, inhibiting the pain-conducting structures of the spinal cord.

5. Clear your stuffed nose!

Forget Sudafed. An easier, quicker, and cheaper way to relieve sinus pressure is by alternately thrusting your tongue
against the roof of your mouth, then pressing between your eyebrows with one finger. This causes the vomer bone,
which runs through the nasal passages to the mouth, to rock back and forth, says Lisa DeStefano, D.O., an assistant
professor at the Michigan State University college of osteopathic medicine. The motion loosens congestion; after 20
seconds, you'll feel your sinuses start to drain.

6. Fight fire without water!

Worried those wings will repeat on you tonight? "Sleep on your left side," says Anthony A. Star-poli, M.D., a New York
City gastroenterologist and assistant professor of medicine at New York Medical College. Studies have shown that
patients who sleep on their left sides are less likely to suffer from acid reflux. The esophagus and stomach connect at an
angle. When you sleep on your right, the stomach is higher than the esophagus, allowing food and stomach acid to slide
up your throat. When you're on your left, the stomach is lower than the esophagus, so gravity's in your favor.


7. Cure your toothache without opening your mouth!

Just rub ice on the back of your hand, on the V-shaped webbed area between your thumb and index finger. A Canadian
study found that this technique reduces toothache pain by as much as 50 percent compared with using no ice. The
nerve pathways at the base of that V stimulate an area of the brain that blocks pain signals from the face and hands.

8. Make burns disappear!

When you accidentally singe your finger on the stove, clean the skin and apply light pressure with the finger pads of
your unmarred hand. Ice will relieve your pain more quickly, Dr. DeStefano says, but since the natural method brings the
burned skin back to a normal temperature, the skin is less likely to blister.

9. Stop the world from spinning!

One too many drinks left you dizzy? Put your hand on something stable. The part of your ear responsible for balance—
the cupula—floats in a fluid of the same density as blood. "As alcohol dilutes blood in the cupula, the cupula becomes
less dense and rises," says Dr. Schaffer. This confuses your brain. The tactile input from a stable object gives the brain
a second opinion, and you feel more in balance. Because the nerves in the hand are so sensitive, this works better than
the conventional foot-on-the-floor wisdom.

10. Unstitch your side!

If you're like most people, when you run, you exhale as your right foot hits the ground. This puts downward pressure on
your liver (which lives on your right side), which then tugs at the diaphragm and creates a side stitch, according to The
Doctors Book of Home Remedies for Men. The fix: Exhale as your left foot strikes the ground.

11. Stanch blood with a single finger!

Pinching your nose and leaning back is a great way to stop a nosebleed—if you don't mind choking on your own O
positive. A more civil approach: Put some cotton on your upper gums—just behind that small dent below your nose—
and press against it, hard. "Most bleeds come from the front of the septum, the cartilage wall that divides the nose,"
says Peter Desmarais, M.D., an ear, nose, and throat specialist at Entabeni Hospital, in Durban, South Africa. "Pressing
here helps stop them."

12. Make your heart stand still!

Trying to quell first-date jitters? Blow on your thumb. The vagus nerve, which governs heart rate, can be controlled
through breathing, says Ben Abo, an emergency medical-services specialist at the University of Pittsburgh. It'll get your
heart rate back to normal.

13. Thaw your brain!

Too much Chipwich too fast will freeze the brains of lesser men. As for you, press your tongue flat against the roof of
your mouth, covering as much as you can. "Since the nerves in the roof of your mouth get extremely cold, your body
thinks your brain is freezing, too," says Abo. "In compensating, it overheats, causing an ice-cream headache." The more
pressure you apply to the roof of your mouth, the faster your headache will subside.

14. Prevent near-sightedness!

Poor distance vision is rarely caused by genetics, says Anne Barber, O.D., an optometrist in Tacoma, Washington. "It's
usually caused by near-point stress." In other words, staring at your computer screen for too long. So flex your way to
20/20 vision. Every few hours during the day, close your eyes, tense your body, take a deep breath, and, after a few
seconds, release your breath and muscles at the same time. Tightening and releasing muscles such as the biceps and
glutes can trick involuntary muscles—like the eyes—into relaxing as well.

15. Wake the dead!

If your hand falls asleep while you're driving or sitting in an odd position, rock your head from side to side. It'll painlessly
banish your pins and needles in less than a minute, says Dr. DeStefano. A tingly hand or arm is often the result of
compression in the bundle of nerves in your neck; loosening your neck muscles releases the pressure. Compressed
nerves lower in the body govern the feet, so don't let your sleeping dogs lie. Stand up and walk around.

16. Impress your friends!

Next time you're at a party, try this trick: Have a person hold one arm straight out to the side, palm down, and instruct
him to maintain this position. Then place two fingers on his wrist and push down. He'll resist. Now have him put one foot
on a surface that's a half inch higher (a few magazines) and repeat. This time his arm will fold like a house of cards. By
misaligning his hips, you've offset his spine, says Rachel Cosgrove, C.S.C.S., co-owner of Results Fitness, in Santa
Clarita, California. Your brain senses that the spine is vulnerable, so it shuts down the body's ability to resist.

17. Breathe underwater!

If you're dying to retrieve that quarter from the bottom of the pool, take several short breaths first—essentially,
hyperventilate. When you're underwater, it's not a lack of oxygen that makes you desperate for a breath; it's the buildup
of carbon dioxide, which makes your blood acidic, which signals your brain that somethin' ain't right. "When you
hyperventilate, the influx of oxygen lowers blood acidity," says Jonathan Armbruster, Ph.D., an associate professor of
biology at Auburn University. "This tricks your brain into thinking it has more oxygen." It'll buy you up to 10 seconds.

18. Read minds!

Your own! "If you're giving a speech the next day, review it before falling asleep," says Candi Heimgartner, an instructor
of biological sciences at the University of Idaho. Since most memory consolidation happens during sleep, anything you
read right before bed is more likely to be encoded as long-term memory.

дело в том, что от мышки наводки.

Відправляємось через годину, а з носа соплі, млін)
...
Ось я і повернувся. Поїхав з закладеним носом, а повернувся з легким струсом мозку, головним болем, температурою і нудотою))

Висновок - без шолома, наколінників і налокотніиків нєфіг там дєлать, млін!

А от драйву і адреналіну отримав сповна, хочу ще! Шолом вже вибрав. Фотки камін сун.

Детская новогодняя елка это круто! Я там не был уже 100 лет, и вот сегодня ощутил весь кайф от этого действия. Собственно, кайф заключался в выступлении театра ледовых миниатюр Игоря Бобрина (при его непосредственном участии :) в спектакле "Лебединое озеро". Понравилось... :)

После похода все это время она росла у меня дома в наполненной черноземом обрезанной пластиковой бутылке, куда я ее посадил еще в Ворохте. И вот теперь, елка, я делаю тебе подарок на Новый год - отличный итальянский горшок! Желаю тебе расти высокой и красивой (а в этом я уверен :).
Процесс пересадки и результат смотрим здесь :)
http://picasaweb.google.com/master.whitish/FirTreeAkaElka